What's it really like to freeze your eggs?
Dria Murphy shares her personal story with the process.
🏰 STORY
At 34 years old, I started the journey to freeze my eggs. I chose to do this because I'm 100% certain I want children, and having a family is so important to me—I just haven't found my person yet. It was an empowering decision that removed the time constraints of having a child. It relieved my anxiety. Putting yourself first is hard, especially as a woman, but taking this step was crucial for my future.
I feel passionate about sharing my journey because there's so much I wish I'd known prior to beginning it. If I had one regret about the process, it would be not assessing all of my options sooner.
The earlier you educate yourself on the how, why, and when, the better you set yourself up for success.
After researching and interviewing a few fertility specialists, I felt so lucky to find Spring Fertility and Dr. Fischer. Spring prioritizes accessibility and personalized care, and Dr. Fischer took me through the whole process in such a nonjudgmental way. It was crucial for me to feel a personal connection with my doctor, especially going through this process as a single female.
At my first appointment, I was relieved to learn I wouldn't need to remove my IUD but surprised to discover I have PCOS. I was frustrated that no other doctor had diagnosed me before, as while it meant I had a lot of follicles (more follicles = more eggs), the quality of your eggs can be affected. I might have frozen mine sooner had I known this. To get the best results possible, I sped up my timeline—about two months from start to finish. Once I set a date, fear and anxiety set in. I was terrified. I'm single, and my family is on the West Coast, but I found relief knowing I was comfortable with my chosen doctor and clinic.
The next step was an ultrasound and bloodwork. I was mentally prepared to get started but hit a setback. I had an ovarian cyst—common in women with PCOS—that I had to wait for to burst before moving forward. I remember being so annoyed and upset because I thought this process was something I could fully control. In hindsight, that's the opposite way you should look at it.
You have to give your body and mind some grace to do this on whatever timeline it needs.
After we resolved my cyst, the medication was delivered to my apartment: a nightly self-administered injection for 8-11 days. This is intimidating, but you quickly become a pro. I wasn't expecting to have to mix and measure what I was injecting each day, but I was grateful Spring Fertility always had someone on call. I had a dedicated nurse throughout, who I Facetimed the first night to calm my anxiety and ensure I had mixed the shot correctly.
The first six days of injections were pretty straightforward; I didn't notice any significant changes. The following six were a different story. Administering the shots didn't bother me anymore, but extreme bloating and discomfort had begun. At this stage, you go for an ultrasound and bloodwork every other day, and I'll never forget my midway appointment: "Your eggs are a little late to the party." my doctor told me. Panic set in—was I doing all of this for nothing? Am I a failure? What does this mean for my future?
After every appointment, I would get a matcha and write. You're injecting yourself with hormones daily; it's a rollercoaster of highs and lows, so it's important to reflect. Had I been aware of how drastically things can change each day, I would've gone much easier on myself. The process is hard enough physically, so treat your mental self with equal kindness.
From then on, things escalated. I couldn't work out. Everything was a struggle. I was so sensitive and bloated. My boobs felt huge. The shots that final night took their toll. I was feeling very alone, both physically and emotionally. I didn't feel in control of my body and was over it. I remember crying myself to sleep that night, subconsciously knowing, "This is the hormones, Dria. You'll be ok."
At my appointment the next day, I told Dr. Fischer, "If I have to do one more night of this, I'm not going to be able to handle it." She replied, "Take a deep breath and let's look at what's going on." After the ultrasound and bloodwork, she told me, "You're not going to like me right now, but we need to do one more night of shots." I'd been pretty strong up until then, but I broke—total breakdown in her office. Dr. Fischer helped me through it, and the nurses couldn't have been more supportive.
That night I was stronger than ever (it's incredible how strong you can be when you have to) and finally got the go-ahead for the retrieval the next day.
The retrieval surgery was seamless. I was in an Uber home when I got the call about how many viable eggs were collected. The extra days of shots made all the difference; it was an incredible result! After the newly diagnosed PCOS and the rollercoaster of emotions, I was in shock.
In terms of recovery, I was a little blindsided. I felt relieved it was over, but recovery was worse than anticipated. I shared some of this on social media and got feedback from many women who experienced the same yet felt alone at the time—no one talks about the aftermath. Given my size and how many eggs were retrieved, I learned that my recovery was worse than most. I could barely leave the couch with a heating pad for three-four days—think cramps x100, little-to-no energy, and major bloating. Sharing the pain isn't meant to discourage or scare anyone; our bodies can take more than we think.
Going through such an emotional process centered around creating a family while being single can take time to process, especially in the present. It got worse before it got better, but it's imperative you rest, listen to your body, and allow it time to heal—it did an incredible thing, and what you went through is a big deal. Honor it!
Reflecting a year later, I feel so empowered. I couldn't be more confident in my decision and timing. It's allowed me to enjoy dating again and focus on what and who makes me happy.
The sacrifices we make for our children begin before they are born.
I only thought about this once I started this process. I sacrificed my body and schedule, overcame my fears, and tested my inner strength, all for the future family I want to create. I'd do it all over again tomorrow if I had to.
🩺 SCIENCE AND SPIRIT 👁️
🧑⚕️ from Spring Fertility’s Dr. Fischer
I'm so happy that these conversations are happening because I firmly believe that knowledge is power. I think women need to really consider what they want their future to be—is it family building in fertility? And, unfortunately, factor in some changes that may occur in the next decade. You never have to make a decision right away, but knowing these things is really important because there is a point when it is much more challenging to have a family or even preserve fertility.
Dria's story is very familiar; I always talk about the why of fertility preservation, and people come to it for different reasons. What has been more of the classic narrative—which I think should be debunked—is this idea that you are getting older and your life isn't playing out the way you think it is. So your back is against a wall, and you do this because you're pigeonholed. It's this idea of giving up power and choice, and that is a narrative, but it's not the only one. What I see are women like Dria, day in and day out, who have ambition and are thinking, "I really want this, but I can't factor in a family with my career plans right now." Fortunately or unfortunately, peak reproductive years are when we are much younger, but our peak career years are usually in our 30s and early 40s, which is a tough time to have kids. So, women who are really ambitious, forward-thinking, and don't know what they want to do are doing this. And there are so many valid reasons, but the truth is there is never judgment. Know that doctors, in general, never judge patients. Anything you think is normal is valid for you.
When thinking about fertility preservation, I think it has a lot to do with myth debunking. A lot of women's health is shrouded in this uncertainty or certainty about things that aren't true. So here are a couple of things to know:
1. There is no 'right' age to freeze your eggs. Although there's a benefit to freezing your eggs when you're younger, both in terms of quantity and quality of eggs that we can retrieve, it's such an individual decision. I always recommend that women come in for an initial consult as they start considering whether it's right for them, though, just because all of our bodies are so different. During that initial consult, you may learn information that will influence your choice—either by speeding up or delaying your timeline.
2. Another misconception that I hear all the time is that women are concerned that if they freeze their eggs, they're 'borrowing' from their future store of eggs. This isn't the case. During an egg retrieval cycle, we're simply recruiting a cohort of follicles that would have otherwise disappeared.
3. There is no perfect time to freeze your eggs in a cycle. We can start egg freezing almost any time, but ideally, it's the 3rd day of your period or the 21st day of your cycle, and then from there, it's about 10 - 12 nights and days of injections.
4. The injections are synthetic versions of natural hormones, so the common question is, what are the side effects of these medications that I'm taking? Everyone is really concerned about that, and that's reasonable, but your body doesn't know the difference between my injection of hormone and your brain sending the hormone, which is why this works. The goal is to have enough hormones to grow the eggs you have, so truly, every protocol is individualized because it has to do with body weight and the number of eggs she has.
5. There are different experiences with egg freezing, and it has a lot to do with how many follicles or eggs are growing. If a woman has two follicles growing, then you feel very little. If you have 20-30, then you feel it because it is a physical growth. The whole purpose of taking the injection is to grow multiple follicles of multiple eggs, but then when you go to retrieve them, they have to have ovulated or released.
6. The trigger shot is specifically timed, and it's the only shot we're really particular about when it comes to timing because we want those eggs to be peeled off of the wall. Everyone's a little different here, so it can be a stress point for many patients because if you can't get it immediately, you begin to freak out. I remember this day so well with Dria, the day when I had to push her another night, and I could tell she was at the end of her rope, which is not uncommon. Some people who come to egg or embryo freezing walk into this casually but don't understand that no matter what the why is that got you in the door, it's emotional. You want to succeed; you don't want bumps in the road. You want to just check this box and keep moving forward, but if anything comes up, sometimes you're not at your best to handle it because the emotions are really high. So having a support system, whether that be friends or your team that is helping you do egg freezing, is so critical because that's how you're going to get through this and still maybe have an experience like Dria. It was tough for her, but she would do it over again 100 times. That's where it's important. Sometimes this stuff is really hard, but you do it, and that's the expectation setting for fertility preservation —not that this is a cakewalk, it's that it's worth it, and if you have the right team behind you, you can do it and women can do anything.
Spring Fertility is re-imagining fertility care and partnering with patients to help them achieve their goals. Spring believes that patients deserve superior clinical outcomes without compromising compassionate, patient-centric care, and they offer comprehensive fertility services, including IVF, egg and embryo freezing, and preimplantation genetic screening. Use code "dria" for $150 off your first consultation.
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